Recognizing Burnout, Reclaiming Joy

Caring for someone you love can be one of the most meaningful roles in your life — and also one of the most exhausting. If you're feeling drained, snappish, numb, or isolated, you're not alone.

Caregiver burnout is real, and it doesn't mean you're failing — it means you're human.In a recent NPR episode on caregiving and identity, experts and caregivers reflected on how this role can quietly but powerfully reshape who we are. We often step into caregiving out of deep love — and that love stays constant — but the weight of daily responsibilities can still be overwhelming. It can begin to define our routines, our energy, and even our identity. I feel this deeply. I'm part of the sandwich generation, caring for aging parents while raising my twelve-year-old daughter. Some days, I feel like I'm constantly choosing between the people I love most — and choosing me? That feels impossible... and honestly, guilt-ridden. But it shouldn't be. I'm lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband who helps create space for me to breathe — though let's be honest, sometimes that space is just 10 minutes of hiding in the bathroom with a book. And he's also someone I want — and need — to keep showing up for, because love needs tending, even if the "date night" is folding laundry together and calling it quality time. You've heard the airplane analogy: put your oxygen mask on first. It's not selfish. It's how we keep showing up — with energy, love, and presence... and hopefully some laughter, too.

Support Groups Can Make a Difference

One of the most powerful antidotes to burnout is connection. Support groups can be a lifeline — a place to be seen, heard, and understood. I'll admit, I was shockingly late to the game when it came to joining a support group. Part of me wasn't sure if I'd belong — and honestly, I was just too tired to try. The idea of adding one more thing to my plate felt overwhelming, even if that "thing" was supposed to help me. I can't go back and change that, but I do wish I had taken advantage of them sooner. These groups are a lifeline. Truly. Some support groups are designed for both caregiver and care recipient to attend together, building shared moments of learning and joy. Others are just for the caregiver — a safe, judgment-free zone to vent, ask for advice, or simply sit quietly and feel less alone. Whether you're in a formal group or simply sharing time with others walking a similar path, community brings perspective and strength. Alula is actively working to help connect caregivers to local groups near you — so please don't hesitate to reach out.

Fill Your Well: Practical Self-Care (Even Just 10 Minutes)

Self-care doesn't have to be a spa day. Sometimes, it's simply about filling your well — a phrase from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, which I often share with my students when they're feeling maxed out. We give and give and give… but we can't pour from an empty well. Here are small, doable ways to refill yours — even on the hardest days:

• Taking a brisk walk or stretching your tight shoulders
• Writing a quick journal entry to check in with your emotions
• Meditating or closing your eyes for a few quiet minutes
• Reading something just for you at the end of the day
• Celebrating a small win — like staying patient in a tough moment
• Snuggling your pet
• Calling a friend, just to say hi

You're Still You. And You Matter.

At Alula, we believe in leading with love, celebrating the little things, and finding joy wherever it hides. We also believe that caregivers deserve support, space, and encouragement to thrive — not just survive. We see you. We honor the weight you carry and the love you give — day in and day out. Let us help shoulder some of that load. Your care matters. And so do you .